sometimes in life
you find things that are perfect for you
exactly the way they are

other times you have to do a little work
to make them perfect

If I can't find a way to get to you
wherever you go
it's not because I didn't try.

We'll put all of our sadness in this dumb suitcase,
and put it on that stupid plane.

And you stay here.

I am a genius.

We're packing up to leave the dharma farm. Guile's death, and the impossibility of knowing the what, how, and why of it, has taken the last lingering and dusty remnants of charm from the place. The big old chicken barn semi-converted into a fairly liveable home for humans that once was quirky and fun is now just unfit and sad. The poison that took our sweet and guileless Guile from us was probably meant to protect chickens whose lives had no value to their keepers beyond the eggs they produced. This is a place of sadness, suffering, and death, which we had hoped to redeem, but we are simply exhausted by grief and our only wish for this place now is to leave it. (more...)

Grief has a life of its own, and it touches everything without mercy or reason. The bed becomes too big, the room too quiet, the everyday actions too filled with longing, the words too full of meaning, the hours and days too long, the memories too painful and too precious.

Two things happened the other day, one expected and the other a complete surprise, both of which brought tears and steps toward healing. (more...)

This blog is inspired by the dogs with whom I share my life, my home, and my heart. I endeavor to capture and communicate in words and pictures some of what I learn from living with them. Shiva and Guile have captivated me and they have been my earthly muses on this journey, and this blog has been a tribute to their hearts and souls, and to all the humans who love and live with dogs and treat them with respect and dignity. Dogs are dogs, humans are humans, and we are all animals. When we reach hand and paw across that divide, we know that it is not so great a gap that hearts cannot be touched and lives changed despite a difference of species.

Some of you already know the story I am about to tell. Some of you, with your hearts aching and tears on your faces, reached for your own nonhuman companions and held onto them tightly when you heard. I love you for that. I love you for treating all animals with respect, and for sharing your homes with the lost and the refugees. I love you for caring, and for living your lives as if you give a damn. I am honored to count you among my friends, and I am touched by your love and kindness. (more...)

If you have to go away sometime
I will wait for you
I will wait until hell freezes over if I have to

Then we'll really have some fun.

i was thinking
you and me
we could be
you know
up there
free and fast
like dreams or clouds
or brilliant ideas
flying

is that so crazy?

I don't always want to talk.

But I always want you to be there when I do.